We will still kiss each other goodbye every morning and night, the world can wait and so can our baby. I still get random text messages from my husband saying such sweet things, and that brings a smile to my face. Being a family is the most amazing thing ever for us. Becoming a new parent is exciting — as well as emotionally and physically exhausting. The way the baby melds the best of both of you will help you remember what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. You’ll be even more smitten the first time you catch your spouse bonding with. And your shared love for the little one will make you closer.
Here are a few things that we promised each other.
Becoming parents may be life changing, but bringing a baby home doesn't mean you're no longer a couple. It's important to take some time (even if it's only a few minutes) to be alone together "Set up several time-outs from the baby during the week when you and your partner can have privacy. This can be your special time to talk about anything other than the baby and to cuddle, hug and kiss.
Remind each other that you matter
It can be easy to lose your identity in the chaos of a new baby. If you and your spouse only ever talk about the baby, ask about the baby, or tell stories about what the baby did today you may find yourself feeling lost. Don’t forget to speak about love to your spouse. Remind each other that you matter, and that you are loved for who you are, not just what you do.
Schedule in date nights...
Take advantage of family members keen to babysit to get some time alone. You don’t have to go all out - a quiet dinner, long walk or intimate chat can work wonders. My husband and I have a romantic date nights at least 3 times a month. It feels good to talk about anything that not baby related. We are also very lucky to go on multiple vacations since we have great grandparents who love having our daughter for a week or so.
Let your partner in
Open up to them completely. Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you. Give them permission to stand beside you. They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is. Cut each other some slack. This baby thing is foreign territory for both of you. As you figure out this new little person, try to remember to praise and offer support to your spouse instead of being so quick to criticize.
Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, your partner is in your life and has dealt with similar emotions and wants to help you.
Relationships go through phases. If the relationship doesn't feel like it used to in terms of intensity or excitement, it doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. Sometimes there are boring patches, or times when the stress gets too much and you end up taking it out on each other. You will then come into another good patch and rediscover why you fell in love. The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end. And loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day; it’s showing it every day in every way.